When the stories we tell ourselves create pain rather than joy, then the time comes to examine these stories. To analyze the unconscious roles we play along with the preconceived outcomes that come with them.
It's important to understand the stories we tell ourselves. Not the myriad of daily stories. Instead to understand the deeper patterns that create story lines that extend through our lives and relationships.
We may unconsciously hold a story of being a victim of harsh circumstance and this may have begun at a young age when we had little awareness of how to respond. The story of victim however may not have stopped there it may have remained at our core and continued to result in the unintentional perpetuation of harsh circumstances that kept this story true.
An example of playing out a victims story is as a child having a parent that was emotionally unavailable/ not present and then later in life choosing partner of the like and feeling helpless against their treatment.
Another story may be one of the protector. The one who had no one to defend themselves at some point and reacted in a defensive and protective way to circumstance. This story may have continued throughout life and resulted in unconsciously choosing situations to protect that who have been oppressed or treated unfairly. This can be seen when an individual has been abused and then takes up the cause of fighting for the rights of women who have been abused.
In this way not all stories have a negative impact. Often those that have suffered deeply can utilize their inner story to positively affect the lives of others.
It is when stories are unconscious and result in a person feeling trapped in a cycle of unhealthy behavior that it is important to make these stories conscious.
A healthy activity then is to look at major places in your life in which you're experiencing challenges.
- What role/ archetype am I playing out?
- When did I first take on this role or archetype?
- What is the underlying story of this situation?
- When did I first take on this story?
- In what ways in this story undermining my happiness?
How can I change it?
Once you come to the question of change, you can simply recognize that it is a story and that you no longer want to identify with it.
Then change a story that empowers you instead. You can always rewrite your story starting now.
We are only hostage to the stories we refuse to look at and believe in.
We are free when we recognize them just as stories that can always be changed.
The victim is just one story away from becoming the hero.